Some tips from a teacher:
* Let him choose one or two activities outside of school, where he will meet new kids in a nonthreatening environment. Working on a hobby, art, or sport together will help him build up his social skills with less pressure. Summer camp is also a great opportunity to meet kids who haven't already labeled him as ';the shy kid.';
* Encourage him to volunteer; he's old enough to help out at a day-care center, a home for the elderly, a hospital, or an animal shelter. Helping others will contribute to his sense of self-worth and also allow him to meet other good kids.
* Don't push him too hard. If he begins to feel that he must make friends in order to make YOU happy -- as well as himself -- he will feel even more anxious about the process.
* Some boys do take longer to mature than others; if he has even one or two true friends, it's all right to let him just develop at his own pace. If he doesn't have anybody at all to spend time with, though, then he might benefit from a few sessions with a counselor who can help him find ways to reach out.Need advise for my very shy 12 yr old son. Any confidence boosters?
Try to find something that your son is good at and praise him often. Tell him what a great kid he is daily, how lucky you are to have him as a son and so on. Let him know you think he's smart.
Encourage your son to get involved in extra curricular activities that interest him. Often, too much emphasis is placed on fitting in, being popular, in High School. If your son is actively involved in activities outside of the school environment, he will be less likely to ';need'; to fit in. Help him to define and make quality friendships, rather than concentrating on just making friends. This is a life skill that will take him well beyond High School. Teach him that education is an opportunity, and encourage him to concentrate on his grades. Show him that High School is just a few short years in his life and encourage him to keep it in perspective. And know this: the best confidence booster of all is for him to feel loved and accepted for the intelligent, good looking, shy, tentative, great child he is.
Try to get him to join in an extra curricular activity. Like band or sports. Even the most shy or nerdiest kids found confidence and friends in band or chorus. Maybe even independent sports like tennis or golf or even karate. Or team sports like football, basketball, softball, etc.
If he's purely a book kid, maybe a kids community service organization like the 4H club, or a kids book club maybe?
After school activities seem to be the best and almost sure fire way to bring a kid out if his shell.
Good luck, it's so nice to see a concerned parent of a teenager not just ignoring a social problem that many kids have to face. I wish my mom recognized that when I was a kid. [I'm 28 yrs old w/ 9 month old baby]
Is there a Father in the picture? If not, check out the Big Brother/Big Sister program. A good mentor could really help out.
You could also have him start having more control of things around the house to biuld up his confidence. Have him plan a weekend for the family. Or re-decorate his bedroom (paint, rugs, posters) and he sets of the work schedule to have it completed with the rest of the families help. Give him something that he can see from beginning to end and then feel good about himself that HE made it work.
If he really like computers, music, drawing, bikes - what ever, find someplace that he can take a class with other 12 yr/old that have the same interest. If he likes Music - guitar or even DJ/mixing. There are YMCA Mountian biking clubs or even skate boarding clubs. I remember being 12 and feeling like I don't fit in anywhere, but for me, it was sports that got me involved with other kids in HS. For my brother, he got into Art and working with wood. Encourage his interests and help him develop them. What will help is if he becomes knowledgable about something and other people ask HIM question (how did you do that??) - it's a great confidence builder.
Good Luck - the Teenage years are coming fast!!
High school is difficult for everyone. Encourage him to join clubs, groups, sign up for sports. Try to find outside groups from school as well that he may enjoy. Keep him active and he WILL find a good friend and they will be buddies for life. High School is where you make your life long friends. The more he is involved in the more people he will meet.
Unfortunately he is at the special age, its important to reassure him, praise him, get him involved in a team sport or chess club, get him into Karate or Jiu Jitsu, they're great confidence boosters
as well.
jus give him time, don't try to push it on him. he'llbreak out of his shell in his own time. and it's not always bad to b shy. jus think when ur 8 year old is in high school, i bet he'll b more of a problem then ur shy boy :)
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